Wish List?

Very early in 2008 we decided to move to a new home. We were staying in the same town, hoping to live in a nearby neighborhood, but upgrade to a larger, newer home. After looking at several existing homes we decided those didn't have everything we were looking for so we decided to build a new home.

I loved this project. I enjoy construction in general, and the opportunity to manage a house from start to finish was very appealing. I visited the site daily, talked with the construction supervisor on a regular basis and worked with various sub-contractors and suppliers to build our dream house. It is beautiful.

Almost immediately upon moving into the new house, and in fact beginning a few days earlier, I started having a lot of doubts about the decision to move. It wasn't so much doubt as panic. I felt this incredible wariness about moving into the house. I could not figure out why....and it got worse.

Over the next several weeks the anxiety grew to incredible levels. I spoke with my wife at length (she's amazing btw), I spent hours with friends, and with pastors from our church. I could not sleep. I started to pray more and more. I prayed for relief. I prayed for guidance. I prayed for God to tell me what was causing this stress. I prayed for God to take this worry away from me. It did not help.

Then I changed what I was praying for completely. I stopped praying for me. I started praying for God. I prayed that God be glorified. I prayed that God is the one eternal, everlasting God and his name should be praised. I didn't tack on a wish list of items for myself.

The stress vanished, the anxiety disappeared, I slept. The journey continues and I know there are questions yet to be answered, but now it is all in God's hands.

This world is not for us. It's for Him.

Praise God.